I'm having a hard time with the girls' bedroom door. Oh sure, it opens up fine and it closes like it's supposed to. The knob turns and the latch fits. So what's the problem? The problem is that there's no one living on the other side of that bedroom door anymore. We moved into the house when our oldest child was 10 months old and ever since there's been a kid in that bedroom. I'll bet I've opened that door a million times over the last 20-odd years. Whether it was the dinner summons or the last night-night of the night, someone was always there. So just last night, once again, I caught myself turning the doorknob. It's been a hard habit for me to break.
I always knew the kids would grow up and move on. My head understood it, but my heart is having a hard time accepting it. I know the kids will be back and forth between college and home, but it won't be the same. That closed bedroom door just feels so final and so lonely.
Maybe a transformation is in order. Should the bedroom become the TV room? Or the pet dormitory? I'm sure that either the TV or the critters would like their own room. Drastic change -- that seems heartless, and yet it's a practical solution to my closed-door dilemma. If the room is something else, my head and my heart can cope with being a side-lined mother.
And then I’ll leave the door open.
