"God must love the common man, He made so many of them..." Abraham Lincoln

Monday, April 19, 2010

Kitty Hooch

Look closely... See that green stuff? No, my floor isn't moldy. Dirty, yes -- but not moldy. That green stuff is catnip, aka Kitty Hooch. Considering how it affects the cat herd, it should be a controlled substance. Actually, I thought it was...but I was mistaken. I did not have control over the hooch at all. Or the herd. Hooch + Herd = Hilarity and Hangovers and Cat Chow Munchies.

I found these two rolling around on the kitchen floor, covered in hooch. I'm not sure which one was the culprit, but someone got the hooch down from the top of the refrigerator, ripped it open and proceeded to bathe in it. Seriously, they were flopping in it and scooting across the floor. Does that count as having swept the floor? Yes. I told you it wasn't dirty. So anyway, after the rollage and floppage, naturally the munchies set in. Luckily for them, the trough was full. And apparently, so was the recycling bin... Sheesh! Doesn't anyone clean up around here?

This is the hooch bag. Mangled. Punctured. Emptied. It put up a valiant fight, but in the end, the kitties won. It's impossible to stop a hooch-frenzied cat herd.

Notice the eyeballs -- the glazed, unfocused, hypnotic stare. Hours later, Domino is still buzzing. Apparently, it was really good kitty hooch.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Helping Hand Hamsa

A friend of mine recently returned from touring Jerusalem and the regions roundabout. Thankfully, he returned all in one piece AND he returned bearing gifts! In his hands were hands. Hamsas, actually. A hamsa is a hand-shaped charm which defends one against the "evil eye." It is sometimes known as the Hand of Fatima (after a daughter of the Prophet Muhammad) or the Hand of Miriam (after Moses' sister). No one knows for sure where the hamsa originated, but everyone agrees it is a very ancient traditional talisman.

I'm rather fascinated with the whole protection-against-the-evil-eye thing. The way I understand it, the hamsa works kind of like Wonder Woman's gold bracelets. Ka-powie! The evil spell is deflected! Ka-bam! The bad luck is bounced! I can hardly wait to try out the little silver charm and send all the unsavory karma in my life back from whence it came. I'm not sure where to put the big hamsa to get the most bang for the superstitious buck. Do I hang it in the car to ward off idiot drivers and radar guns alike? Do I hang it on the fridge to ward off my late-night food forays? If you have any suggestions, send them my way -- but only do so with good intentions. Remember, the hamsa says I'm rubber, you're glue, and whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you!

p.s. If hamsa hands ward off evil, what attracts good? Feet? The lucky rabbit kind? Well, not lucky for the rabbit anyway... Just curious.