"God must love the common man, He made so many of them..." Abraham Lincoln

Thursday, December 23, 2010

String Me Along...

What’s your favorite part of the holiday season? Fudge? Greeting cards? Scotch tape? Personally, I’m a sucker for Christmas lights. Whether the light strings are dangled from the eaves, draped across the shrubs, or twisted around the trees – the colors, variety and wattage are just amazing.

My love of Christmas lights began way, way back when I was a kid. The whole famn damily would pile into the old Dodge station wagon for a drive around the neighborhoods to look at the lights. The snow diffused the colors into big pools of holiday Technicolor while the icicles magnified the lights’ brightness. Combine the sights with treacherously slick roads and no seat belt laws and there’s a ride to remember!

Dad was a sucker for Christmas lights, too, even though they almost killed him…

According to family legend, on one fine January clearance sale day, Dad found the best price EVER on Christmas lights. He bought every single box and stashed them away in anticipation of the best EVER light display. Months later, he opened all those boxes only to discover they were not the string-to-string variety. After considering the extension cord complications, Dad decided to splice all the lights together into one big, long, giant string. He worked along methodically, carefully splicing one string to another, holding the bare wire ends in his mouth as he went. It was at one such critical molar-clenching moment that one of my brothers (who shall remain anonymous) decided to plug in the lights.

Snap! Crackle! Pop! Not in the good cereal kind of way either. More like the electrocution kind of way. The current surged through Dad’s molars and knocked him off his feet. My guilty brother quickly unplugged the lights while the innocent brother checked to see if Dad was dead. After Dad was able to sit up again, both boys asked if he could do that again…

So two root canals later, it really was an awesome light display.

Enjoy all of your favorites this holiday season and please remember to plug in carefully!

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